I’m Glad I Changed
I’ve been thinking lately about how different I feel from this time last year. Not in some dramatic, reinvented-my-whole-life kind of way. I’m still very much me. But something has changed, and looking back now, I can see that my body was trying to get my attention long before I was ready to listen.
Around this time last year, I developed a skin issue that I could not seem to get on top of. It was uncomfortable, persistent, and eventually painful enough that it was keeping me awake at night. I couldn’t understand it. I’m pretty mindful about my nutrition, my supplements, drinking enough water and taking care of myself, so naturally I kept wondering what I was missing. Somewhere along the way, I started reading more about the nervous system and the many ways stress and emotional strain can show up physically. That stopped me in my tracks, because if I was being truthful with myself, my nervous system had been through a lot.I had gotten very good at packing things down. I had spent years not having the healthiest boundaries in certain relationships, particularly within parts of my friend circle. I loved these people then, and I still think of them with love today. I genuinely wish them peace and good things in their lives. But I also had to become honest about what certain relationships were costing me and what I needed in order to feel healthy again.
There were situations where I was giving a lot of myself emotionally, and after a while I began to realize how much of my energy was being used in places that no longer felt healthy for me. I wanted to be more intentional about where I was putting that energy and make more room for the things that mattered most to me — my family, the friendships that had been rooted in my life for decades, my spirituality, my work and honestly, myself. Did everyone understand the changes I was making? No, not always. But in many ways, that became part of the growth too. I had to become more comfortable trusting what I knew I needed, even when it wasn’t understood by everyone around me. That was when I realized life needed to keep moving forward, and that healthy boundaries weren’t about shutting people out. They were about making room for a healthier way of living, loving and showing up.
I’m glad I changed, Not because I stopped caring
Because I finally started paying more attention.
I also began changing the way I cared for myself in some very simple ways. My friend JR holds breathwork circles, and I finally started making room to attend them. Little by little, I began noticing how much lighter I felt afterward. I started sleeping differently. I felt like I could breathe a little deeper, physically and emotionally.
I also began doing one-on-one work with my dear friend Shana of Shana Can Coach, who helped me understand more about using my oils as part of my emotional wellness routine. More importantly, she encouraged me to stop ignoring emotions when they came up. Instead of immediately pushing something down, I started getting curious about it. What am I actually feeling right now? Where do I feel it in my body? Why did that affect me so strongly? I began using oils that helped me feel grounded and comforted, and even just sitting quietly long enough to let myself feel something without immediately trying to fix it or push it away.
I also found my way back to my inner circle, the people who know me without requiring an explanation. I became much more intentional about the time I spent with my husband too. Nothing elaborate I began embracing more early mornings together, long walks, and deep conversations about some of the books we both love. Those simple moments became incredibly meaningful to me, and I realized again how much connection can happen when you simply slow down enough to be fully present with one another.
I spent more time with my mom and dad as well, which will never feel like wasted time to me. I’m so grateful they are still here, and this past summer especially, I got to enjoy more of the ordinary moments with them. Coffee together, listening to my papa’s old baseball stories , just sitting around talking. Nothing elaborate. Those are the things that matter more and more to me as I get older.
I’ve spent more time outdoors.
I’ve made more room to think.
I’ve felt more creative, both personally and in my work.
I’ve had room for new ideas because my mind hasn’t felt so crowded. I feel lighter. I feel clearer. I feel more present in my own life. And when I look at where I was a year ago compared with where I am now, I can say without hesitation that the changes I made were necessary.
I know there is so much information out there now about the nervous system, stress, emotional health, boundaries and all the ways our bodies can respond to what we are carrying. I’m not trying to position myself as an expert on any of it. I’m not an educator or a teacher in this space. I’m simply a woman who grew up in La Quinta, California, who is now 55 years old and has lived a little. I’m sharing this from my own small corner of the world because maybe someone reading it will recognize a little bit of themselves in my story.
If there is something that keeps nudging you, keeping you awake at night, making your body tighten when you enter a certain situation, or leaving you feeling drained in ways you can’t quite explain, pay attention. You don’t have to make some huge dramatic decision overnight. You don’t have to have every answer. But you can pause, get curious and ask yourself what needs to change.
It is possible to change. It is possible to embrace healthy boundaries and still be a loving person. It is possible to move forward without bitterness and reach a place that feels peaceful on the other side. For me, that has been one of the greatest lessons of this past year. Peace in your heart is worth protecting. Nothing replaces that feeling of being able to come home to yourself and know that you are living in a way that feels healthier, calmer and more true.
So yes, I changed.
And from where I’m standing now, I’m grateful I did.
